


Glow

by Diamond_Stark



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 09:01:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14713110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diamond_Stark/pseuds/Diamond_Stark
Summary: …you make it so undeniable.A million heartsyou’re the only onewho lights me uplike I'm glowing in the dark…-	Nikki Williams – GlowingA/N – I couldn’t seem to shake that song that kept playing over and over in my head. This is the result.Enjoy! And review! ALL feedback appreciated. No infringement intended.





	Glow

All she wanted to do was sleep.

And asleep she was, until the pounding began.

It pulsed in tandem to her already throbbing head, a side effect of too little sleep, and the stress of the mission she had only just returned from.

She estimated that she had been asleep for only about two hours, which was a little under the time since she had arrived home.

She squeezed her eyes shut, mentally willing the pounding to stop.

But it still continued, and it was now accompanied by her door chime, and someone shouting her name.

“Bloody hell, Kathryn! Open the door!”

Phoebe?

When she angrily flung open her apartment door, it was to her smiling sister, who was holding the largest bottle of champagne Kathryn had ever seen, dwarfed only by the even larger bow that was tied around it.

“Phoebe! It’s four shitty in the morning!” Kathryn hissed, turning away and leaving her sister standing at the threshold to move blindly toward the replicator. “This had better be good.”

“Happy Birthday Sis!” Phoebe said a little too loudly for Kathryn’s liking. “Wait.” She glanced around the darkened penthouse apartment. “What time is it here really?” She did a mental calculation before she caught sight of the chronometer over the vidscreen. “Oops! Sorry! I'm still on Indiana time.”

“Coffee. Black.” Kathryn mumbled, barely registering her sister’s words. “Happy what?”

“Happy birthday.” Phoebe smirked. “Don’t tell me that you forgot it’s your birthday.”

Kathryn turned slowly away from her replicator to glance at the date stamp on her COMM system. 

Sure enough, there it was, right next to the stardate. May 20th 2380. 

She closed her eyes, her free hand pinching the bridge of her nose. “I've just spent the last ten weeks in Romulan territory Phoebe. My birthday was the last thing on my mind.”

Phoebe gave her a mock-sympathetic look. “Well, that’s what little sisters are for. To remind you that you’re getting older.” She set the bottle down heavily on Kathryn's coffee table, before stretching out the muscles in her back. “Sorry about the early house call, but I'm here, and you’re awake.”

“Barely.” Kathryn grumbled.

Phoebe ignored her comment, gesturing instead to the bottle of what was definitely not synthehol. “Let’s say we pop open this baby and do some celebrating. You look a little pale, like you could use a little pick-me-up; put back some of the glow you’ve been missing since you got back from the Delta Quadrant.”

“You are aware that today is a work day.” Kathryn reminded her. “Some of us still have normal working hours, you know.”

“Please…” Phoebe rolled her eyes. “…you haven’t a clue as to what ‘normal working hours’ are. Besides, your aide said that you have nothing pressing for today so you don’t have to go into the office. She handed over a PADD that Kathryn only now realized she was carrying. “Your birthday itinerary awaits ma’am.”

Kathryn stared at the PADD a moment before snatching it from her sister’s hand. “You spoke to my aide?” 

“No…I spoke to Admiral Paris, and he spoke to your aide.”

“You did what?” Kathryn was scrolling through the PADD, her eyes widening at one particular item. “A Brazilian wax? Why would I need a Brazilian wax?”

Phoebe shrugged. “A woman always needs a Brazilian wax. You know what they say, it’s better to have and not need, than to need and not have.” She leaned forward, pointing over the top of the PADD to one of the items on the list. “Just make sure you’re on time for breakfast at Alfredo’s. I asked him to hold the best table in the house for you.”

“You’re not coming?”

“I have to check in at the gallery. My inept assistant has managed to successfully botch one of my holo-images. Again.” She grimaced as memories of her ruined work surfaced. “But you’ll have company don’t worry.”

The term ‘don’t worry’ coming out of her sister’s mouth was never reassuring. She was about to tell her that, but Phoebe continued on.

“I’ll be meeting you after your lunch with mom to go birthday shopping.” She instructed, gesturing toward the PADD. “Oh and you’ll need a new dress for dinner; there’s a new restaurant in New York that took me ages to get a reservation for, and after pulling a few strings – actually I kind of used your name – we are going tonight.”

“Ok, fine. I’ll just have to call Marshall.” Kathryn watched her sister warily as she disappeared into her kitchen, reappearing a moment later carrying two champagne flutes. “He was taking me out to dinner tonight to celebrate the success of the mission. He had to make a detour on the way back so I was supposed to meet him on Proxima.”

“Who’s Marshall?” Phoebe set the glasses down, plopped down on Kathryn’s sofa, and proceeded to make quick work of untangling the large bow on the champagne bottle. “Is he cute? Smart? In or out of Starfleet? Does he have a big…”

“Phoebe!”

“…shuttle. I was going to say shuttle.” She paused from her task to wink at her sister mischievously. “Proxima is a six hour flight by my estimation.”

“Three actually.” Kathryn corrected. “He has a runabout.”

“Impressive.” Phoebe nodded her approval. “Tell him he’s invited tonight. You can inspect his runabout some other time.”

“Classy Pheebs, real classy.”

“Oh please, save your death glare for the nervous Ensigns.” She snickered. “You never mentioned a Marshall before. What’s his last name?”

“Stark.” Kathryn answered simply.

“You’re kidding.” Phoebe raised her head, stopping her actions to stare for a moment. “The Marshall Stark? Voted most eligible bachelor according to the Federation Star? The most popular choice for the next Federation President? Since when are you two dating?”

“A few weeks now.” Coffee in hand, and abandoning the prospect of sleep altogether, Kathryn sat down across from Phoebe to watch her work. “We met on the mission.”

“I thought you were seeing your first officer…Chakotay, is it?”

Kathryn flinched. “He’s not my first officer anymore, Phoebe. And he’s seeing Seven, remember? You met her at the welcome home reception.”

“Yes but that was six months ago.” She pulled off the bow with a triumph, tossing it carelessly behind her. Grabbing the bottle itself, she started twisting the cork around. “Does Chakotay know?”

“About Marshall?” Kathryn rose to fetch her a corkscrew before retaking her seat. “We haven’t spoken since before I left so I imagine he doesn’t. What does Chakotay have to do with this?”

Phoebe accepted the instrument, but the only use she made of it was to point it at Kathryn. “You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“Well, for one thing, a lot has changed since you left.”

Kathryn was afraid to ask, but an innate sense of morbid curiosity took over. “Like what?”

“Like while you were busy off-world getting cozy with Ambassador Sexy, Chakotay and Seven were busy ending their relationship. Seven apparently has recently been seen quite frequently in the company of your holographic Doctor.”

Kathryn’s eyebrow rose. She’d had no idea. 

While Chakotay and Seven had been dating, she had fielded all manner of comments from her former crew about the unlikely couple. It seemed that their predictions of the relationship not lasting had come to pass. 

In Romulan territory, she had restricted access to her messages, due to their diplomatic protocols, so she hadn’t been able to check communications from her former crew until she was on her way back to Earth. It dawned on her now that they had indeed gone uncharacteristically silent somewhere about a month ago.

It also dawned on her that she hadn’t received one single message from her former first officer. 

Or from Seven.

She smirked. Or from the more vocal B'Elanna she was sure would have been very eager to proclaim the news across the four quadrants.

Phoebe watched her sister’s changing facial expressions surreptitiously while she worked on the champagne bottle. She had her wheels turning – that was certain. 

“And exactly what was it that made you come to the conclusion that Chakotay and I were dating?” Before Phoebe could answer, Kathryn held up the hand that wasn’t cradling her coffee. “Wait…don’t tell me. The Federation Star.”

Phoebe shook her head, frowning more at the cork’s refusal to budge rather than her sister’s apparent cluelessness. “Actually it was from Seven herself.”

Kathryn almost exhaled the mouthful of coffee she had just drank. “Excuse me?”

“Well…” Phoebe abandoned her task in favor of giving her sister her full attention. “…apparently, the way I heard it, was that Chakotay called out your name during…what was it Seven called it? Oh…right. The throes of copulation.”

The silence in the room was deafening, interrupted moments later by the loud pop of the cork coming off the champagne bottle.

~^~

The pop of a wine bottle being opened made Chakotay jump slightly, and he looked up at the bartender as he deftly handled the vintage brand, while extolling the virtues of a good red wine to his patrons. 

He turned away, surveying his surroundings with an eye of impassivity. Proxima station’s only lounge area was crowded, but not overly so, with an assortment of both ‘fleet officers and civilians alike. A few of the patrons watched the newsvids on the large screen behind the bar, but most opted for the tables in the adjacent bistro.

Chakotay was sitting at the bar, his attention now divided between the news alerts on the screen and the gift wrapped box in front of him. For what had to be the hundredth time, he fidgeted with the bow, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see the bartender giving him a curious look.

His ship, the Nara, had been docked at the nearby shipyard for the past two days, undergoing repairs. They had been on a part shakedown cruise, part training exercise in a nearby sector; and while they were testing the newly installed slipstream drive a power conduit ruptured, knocking out several of the primary and secondary ship’s systems. 

They had limped to Proxima on impulse power, their damaged deflector dish preventing them from attempting superluminal velocities. 

His crew for the most part seemed to be taking the turn of events in stride, utilizing the down time for some much needed R&R, while a maintenance crew from the shipyard handled repairs. As it was, they were already delayed by over a week. They should have already been back on Earth, finishing up mission debriefings and final testing of the Nara’s systems. 

In light of recent events, he couldn’t help but think that the spirits of his ancestors were conspiring against him.

His breakup with Seven had heralded the beginning of a new journey, and everything he had done since then had been leading up to this day.

Kathryn’s birthday.

He would be damned if he was going to let a little thing like a damaged deflector keep him away from her today.

“Wedding Anniversary?”

His thoughts returned to the present. The bartender was now standing before him, looking at him expectantly. “I'm sorry?”

He nodded toward the box in Chakotay’s hand. “The gift. You have been fidgeting with it since you got here. I couldn’t help but think it was for your…” 

“I’m not married.” Chakotay shook his head. “It’s for a friend.”

“A good friend, perhaps?”

He nodded without hesitation. “The best.”

The attendant seemed to accept the reason for his anxiety and left him alone.

He looked at the chronometer for what seemed like a millionth time. Why was it that time always passed so slowly when you didn’t want it to?

He sighed, then decided to pass the time by planning what he would say to her when he saw her again.

Hi Kathryn… He figured that he should keep it simple. Casual. And friendly. …I guess you know about me and Seven by now, and I just wanted to tell you that I love you.

He frowned. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to use those two phrases in the same sentence. Given her uncanny ability to acquire the latest gossip without a modicum of effort, he was sure that she was aware of the circumstances of his breakup with Seven by now.

He cringed inwardly.

He didn’t get to see Kathryn before she left for Romulus over two months before; he was busy taking on his new job at the Academy, assisting some the former Maquis with their transition to life back in the Alpha Quadrant, and – according to the Parises – ‘shacking up’ with Seven. The latter had become their new mantra, used repeatedly by his friends as an excuse for his notable absences from former Voyager crew events. 

Truth be told, he had grown frustrated with their reluctance to accept his relationship with Seven, and figured that avoiding their hostile stares and harsh criticism would make the whole thing blow over in time. 

He had underestimated his friends’ and former crewmates’ determination.

“I really wish you’d take the time to get to know her better…” He remembered saying to an angry B'Elanna, after a round of heated discussion. “…a lot has changed since we got back…”

But despite all of the objections, he and Seven were…well…

Adapting.

She was working for the Federation Security Council as special advisor on all things Borg. He had returned to his old job at the Academy as an advanced tactical instructor, with an added bonus; captaincy of the Nara, a sleek, modern ship, not unlike Voyager. His assignments – mostly field training with his students – kept him close to Earth, so they had acquired an apartment in Stockholm, which was walking distance from her aunt’s house, and gave them easy access to public transports.

Their work kept them mostly occupied, but their flexible schedules also ensured that their downtime was spent together.

They were happy, for the most part. They had both made new friends outside of the Voyager crew, and they had become acquainted with other couples within their new circle. 

And setting aside their former crewmates angst, Chakotay would have been willing to admit – if asked – that he was content.

Then it all went to hell that one fateful night. 

It was just a six second news flash. More like a teaser, really. He hadn’t even been thinking about Kathryn. Well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. He always thought about Kathryn. They were friends after all; and she was the only one who had accepted his relationship with Seven and made the effort to stay in contact with them. 

In hindsight, he figured that he should have known what was coming.

He was a contrary, after all.

That night in question, he was walking past the vid screen on his way to the bedroom he and Seven shared, when the reporter promoted an upcoming story on Admiral Janeway once again entering the annals of history by being the first ‘fleet officer to address the Romulan Senate.

The footage of her lasted mere seconds, but Chakotay could talk for hours about what he saw. She looked regal in her dress uniform, the quintessential Starfleet Officer. She spoke not from a script, but from her gut. She’d always had that gift for speaking impromptu. She looked pale and tired, he thought, and he figured that she could use a little less coffee and a little more rest. 

He remembered that night like it happened moments ago. Remembered what she looked like, remembered thinking that she had grown out her hair and absently wondering what it would feel like to run his fingers through it. 

The memory of seeing her for that fleeting moment entered his subconscious where it merged with other thoughts of her that he foolishly thought lay dormant. But, in hindsight, it was actually lying in wait, simply awaiting the right trigger. 

Seeing her for those few seconds had been his undoing.

He should have known what was coming, but instead, blissfully unaware, he continued on his way, toward the bedroom where his girlfriend waited.

Seven, for the most part, had taken the evening’s events in stride. Even in her fledgling state of adulthood she knew that it was unconscionable for your boyfriend to be calling out another woman’s name when climaxing. She wasted no time in packing her bags and heading for her aunt’s house.

And now here he was, a month later, stuck on a transport station. In his hand, he held a familiar gift; in his mind, he held bittersweet memories of the last time he had given it to Kathryn. 

Their duty to Voyager and her crew had prevented the feelings associated with that special moment to be explored, but they were home now and he was hoping that this time – with his regained senses and all – the spirits would be with him.

He looked impatiently at the chronometer again.

“Nara to Captain Chakotay.” His first officer’s voice sounded.

He tapped his COMMbadge. “Go ahead Carter.”

“Sir, dry-dock estimates repairs should be complete within the hour. Station ops has given us the ok to prepare for departure.”

“That’s the best news I've heard all week Commander.” He slid off the barstool, carefully cradling the box under his arm. 

It was time to get back to Earth.

Get back to her.

“I’m on my way.”

~^~

“What do you mean you’re on your way?” Phoebe screeched over the COMM, making Kathryn wince.

“It means that I’ll be there when I get there.” She rounded the corner of the restaurant’s building, almost colliding with a group of shoppers. “I just had to stop off at my office for five minutes, which turned into thirty minutes.”

“You just couldn’t resist could you.” 

Kathryn couldn’t see her, but she knew Phoebe was shaking her head. “I really needed to check in.”

“Sure you did.” She replied in obvious disbelief. “Alfredo would not hold your table forever you know. So hurry the hell up! Phoebe out.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes as the COMM signal closed. She entered the restaurant, coming to an abrupt halt when she spotted who was at her table.

“Lettie?” 

The woman looked up from her breakfast menu, frowning. “You’re late.”

“Well, if I knew I was meeting you here, I would have called ahead.” 

Both women sized each other up seriously before the façade disappeared and they smiled widely.

“Surprise!” Lettie stood up, and enfolded her friend in an excited hug. “Happy Birthday darling!” 

Kathryn grinned at her old Academy friend, shaking her head as they took their seats. 

Lettie Garrett. 

She had the same freckled, light skin as Kathryn, but that was where the similarity between the two women ended. Lettie was a few inches taller, and a dress size thinner, which restricted any wardrobe sharing during their academy years as roommates. Her hair, which was once jet black and straight, was now ash blonde. A bit disheveled from the wind, it flowed in thick long curls from a center part that framed a well-proportioned face. The clearest green eyes gazed mischievously back at her and Kathryn was momentarily transported back to a time when that look meant that they were in for a world of trouble.

She had aged naturally, but Kathryn still recognized her playful, adventurous friend. They had kept in touch sporadically, and met a few times up until about three months before Kathryn left for the badlands, but she had not seen her since Voyager’s return. It wasn’t for lack of trying though; the woman was never in the same place for long. 

She smiled inwardly, genuinely impressed. No one but Phoebe could pull this off.

“Lettie Garrett, I haven’t seen you since…”

Lettie cut off her words with a mock glare. “Don’t remind me. I'm still contemplating having that tattoo removed. But every time I decide to, I fall in love with it all over again!”

Kathryn grinned and picked up her menu. “I can't believe you kept it all these years!”

“So you had yours removed then?” When Kathryn nodded, Lettie smirked. “I thought you still had that rebellious streak in you. Don’t tell me you’ve gone all rigid and frigid.”

“I had no choice.” Kathryn conceded. “Phoebe sold me out to Admiral Paris.” She held up a hand to ward off further questions. “Long story. We can discuss it while we eat. What I want to know is how my little sister managed to contact you.”

“I don’t know how she did it,” Lettie said, “I was on the Nairobi heading back from the quadrant rim when her message reached me. That was over two weeks ago. Turned the quadrant over on its ass just to get here in time for breakfast.”

“My little sister can be very resourceful when she needs to be.” Kathryn watched her friend shake her head in amusement. “What?”

“Phoebe Janeway.” She breathed. “Now there’s the quintessential big sister’s nightmare. How is the little rat anyway?”

“Not so little, I'm afraid.” Kathryn grinned. “She’s a successful photojournalist now. She currently has an exhibition the city, with five more due to launch soon across the quadrant.”

“She’s been busy.” Lettie observed. “I’d love to see her work.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.” Kathryn nodded, her pride at her sister’s success showing as she relayed how her sister had come into her current career.

Phoebe Janeway had woken up one morning, not long after Kathryn had disappeared with Voyager, commandeered a small ship, and proceeded to travel through some of the most dangerous reaches of the quadrant, taking some of the most stunning and captivating images ever portrayed.

Her work was instrumental in bringing the plight of refugees and the abhorrent treatment meted out by Cardassians to the public eye. Forcing Starfleet’s hand was a rare thing, but somehow, her little sister had managed it.

“I honestly don’t know how she finds the time to torment her big sister in between her work and raising two kids.” Kathryn concluded.

“Phoebe has kids? Really?” Lettie expressed her surprise. “I always thought that you would beat her to the childbearing thing.”

“Well, I have been a bit preoccupied for about seven years.” Kathryn reminded her with a raised eyebrow.

“Nonsense!” She exclaimed, scandalized. “Don’t tell me you were a nun all that time! And don’t give me that protocol-we’re-on-the-same-ship-nonsense. That never stopped you before. Besides, I’ve seen the newsvids of your former first officer. Those dimples, that strong-silent-type demeanor. So alluring. I bet he has a big…”

“Lettie!”

“…following.” She finished innocently. “He was a Maquis cell leader, wasn’t he?”

“Damn, it's good to see you again.” Kathryn smiled.

“That’s because I’m fabulous.” She reminded her, just as their waiter approached with their meal. “How about we get the champagne flowing, and you tell me all about the Commander.” 

Chakotay’s former rank slid across Lettie’s tongue as smooth as silk, like it was the most salacious thing in the world, and Kathryn’s eyebrow rose, as she contemplated the virtues of getting drunk and girl-talking with her friend. 

Not that she was above getting drunk and girl-talking in the least. And she trusted Lettie with her life. It was just that it had been so long since she’d been herself, Kathryn Janeway, without the Starfleet title. 

Lettie could almost feel the hesitation in her friend of over twenty years, and couldn’t help thinking that the Kathryn Janeway she knew had definitely gone into hiding. For one thing, she was never this unsure of herself. She had seen the extensive press coverage of Voyager’s return and found that she always looked so drawn and stoic, like she had lost the essence that made her Kathryn Janeway. 

For a moment she thought that she was going to bail on her, but then Kathryn smirked, and dropped her shoulders in complete submission. 

Lettie brought out her signature smile, nodding her confirmation of the champagne order to the waiter, before turning back toward her, waiting.

Kathryn felt the last of her resistance fading as Lettie gave her an expectant look. She gave an exaggerated sigh.

“Okay, I will admit, he is really very handsome.”

Lettie rolled her eyes. “The blind could see that. I want more.” She leaned forward conspiratorially. “Ever seen him naked?”

Now it was Kathryn’s turn to smile. In for a penny, and all that. “Once. And that’s all I’m saying.”

“Oh no you don’t.” She hissed. “You’re telling me everything. And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

~^~

“Worried that she’s going to say no?”

Feet away from the barstool Captain Chakotay had just vacated, Ambassador Marshall Stark sat at one of the bistro’s tables, fingering the small square black box in front of him, giving it a gentle tap before returning it to his pocket. 

Apparently his actions weren’t lost on his aide sitting next to him. After almost five years of being his constant companion, Xander Cross was completely tuned into his boss’ various moods. And after almost five years, his directness was of no surprise to the Ambassador.

Stark downed a mouthful of his coffee before shaking his head. “Worried that I wouldn’t have the courage to ask. It’s only been a couple of months.”

“But yet, you’re contemplating a long term commitment.” Xander set aside his PADD, giving his boss his full attention. “That, in itself does not make those ‘couple of months’ insignificant.”

“They weren’t.” He admitted. Since they’d first met, he and Kathryn had spent every moment together. 

At first, it seemed plausible, given that they had to work closely together for the success of the mission. But then, when it was no longer necessary, they seemed to be coming up with some excuse or the other to spend time together. Shared interest in a particular book, philosophical theory, or spacial phenomenon. Before long, they were together all the time, waking or otherwise. 

“In fact,” he added aloud for Xander’s benefit, “they were the best of my life.”

Marshall Stark had dated many women over the years, but none were as intriguing, intelligent, or enchanting as Kathryn Janeway.

“She’s an impressive woman, sir.” The aide pointed out in agreement. “Given what she’s managed to accomplish in just a few weeks, it’s nothing but…remarkable.”

“She certainly impressed the hell out of the Romulan Senate.” Stark said, picking at the food on his plate distractedly. “She had the Proconsul wrapped around her little finger.”

“I wasn’t speaking about the Senate or the Proconsul.” Xander admitted quietly, a smile playing across his handsome features. “I was talking about you.”

“Me?” Marshall looked up from his meal. “What do you mean?”

Cross leaned forward to make his point. “During the last few weeks were the most…alive I've seen you. You come alive when she’s around, sir. I've never seen that with…” He stopped.

“You can say it…” Stark smirked. “…the others. I'm fully aware that I've seen my fair share of women over the years.”

“And then some.” Cross finished, returning to the PADD he’d discarded.

Marshall stared at him for a moment. The man was as fearless as he was loyal. “And then some.” He agreed with a nod, just as his computer chirped, signaling an incoming message.

“Looks like you’ll be meeting Kathryn on Earth instead.” Cross said, as Janeway’s message scrolled up. “And meeting the family. Her sister’s planning a birthday dinner for her tonight. And you’re invited.”

Marshall signaled his security chief who was standing nearby. “Has the runabout left for Earth yet?”

“No sir.” He responded. “But the Station Chief has informed that there is an ion storm forming in the Proxima Region. They’re suspending all transports to and from the station and nearby planets for the next twelve to twenty four hours. There is however one vessel that has been cleared for departure.”

“No sense in remaining here then.” Marshall nodded his permission for Cross to make their alternate travel arrangements.

“Which ship is it?” Cross asked, as they rose from their seats.

“A Starfleet Ship.” Stark’s security chief replied, gesturing toward the bistro’s exit. “The Nara.”

~^~

“Of all the ships still at Spacedock, the Nara gets to play taxi to an ambassador.” 

Chakotay smirked to himself when he overheard the comment from one of his bridge crew as they discussed the ‘joys’ of having dignitaries on board. 

He was standing front and center on the bridge of his ship, taking in the buzz of activity around him as the crew prepared to depart Proxima for Earth. He took a deep breath, mentally counting down the hours and minutes until he could see Kathryn again. With any luck, he’d make it back before the day actually ended.

He recalled a message he’d read from B'Elanna that morning; she’d been her usual hostile and cryptic self, mentioning a dinner for Kathryn that they’d all been invited to. Her sister Phoebe was planning it as a surprise, she’d said, and it would be nice if he could grace them with his presence. Not that she’d expected him to be there, she’d hissed, before mentioning a list of occasions he’d been noticeably absent.

He’d just realized with some anxiety that she’d neglected to mention the location of the dinner, and he was preoccupied with which one of the crew would be the path of least resistance to getting that information, when the doors to the turbolift opened, and Commander Carter, his first officer, entered the bridge, PADD in hand. 

“Sir, all departments report ready, the crew are aboard and they are anxious to return home.”

Chakotay nodded in acknowledgement. “And our guests?”

The XO frowned. “The Ambassador and his entourage are settled in.” 

Despite his own inward anxiety, Chakotay had to smile. It was no secret that Carter hated playing chauffeur to dignitaries. He clapped the XO’s shoulder, returning to his seat. “Let’s go home, Commander.”

“Aye sir.” He opened a COMM channel. “All hands, prepare for immediate departure. Helm, aft thrusters ahead one quarter, port and starboard at station keeping.”

“Moorings retracted Commander, Dock Control reports ready.” The officer at the helm called out. “Separating from Spacedock.” 

“So,” the XO leaned toward his Captain, “have time for a few rounds after mission debrief? I’m expecting a big turnout tonight seeing as everyone is taking full advantage of the downtime.”

“Sorry Carter,” Chakotay tilted his head slightly, keeping his voice low, “playing poker and guzzling an obscene amount of alcohol with a bunch of Starfleet’s finest is not on my list of things to do tonight. I have other plans.”

He gave him a skeptical look that reminded him of Tom Paris. Hell, Carter on a whole reminded him of Tom Paris, down to the mischievous blue eyes and cheeky half-grin. “Thought you might’ve refused.”

“What makes you say that?” Chakotay kept his gaze straight ahead knowing fully well the depth of the man’s astuteness. 

“Well, according to the ship’s scuttlebutt, you’ve been spotted carrying a gift-wrapped box to your quarters, you have this nervous anxiety about you like you can't wait to get back, and you’ve been checking the chronometer religiously. So, what is it? Dinner date? COMM link Date? Blind date?” When Chakotay glared at him, his expression changed to what could only be described as scandalous. “Play Date?”

“We’ve cleared Spacedock, Captain.” The helm officer interrupted. “We’re ready to go to warp.”

Chakotay gave his second in command a triumphant look. “One of the nice things about being Captain, is that you can keep some things to yourself.” He returned his attention to the helm. “Set a course for Earth.”

“Aye Captain. Course laid in.”

“So, it’s someone close to you then?” Carter prodded, encouraged when he noticed a slight twitch. “Your former Captain, perhaps?”

“Warp six.” Chakotay ordered. “Engage.”

Carter chuckled, leaning in between their shared console`, as a message scrolled across the screen. “Ambassador Stark would like to thank us personally for our hospitality, and is inviting us to have drinks with him in the ship’s lounge.” He said sotto voce, while rolling his eyes. 

“You go on ahead.” Chakotay gave him an amused look. “I just have to finish up a couple of reports before we reach Earth, then I’ll join you.”

“Of course.” Carter nodded his approval. “Can’t keep the lady waiting.” He looked his Captain up and down as a thought occurred. “You’re not wearing your uniform are you?”

He frowned. In his preoccupation with what to say to Kathryn, he hadn’t given his choice of attire any thought. He looked up at his first officer, who was watching him expectantly. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I wasn’t planning to.”

“Good.” He nodded his approval as he stood to his feet. “Well, I’m off to entertain the goodly Ambassador.” He handed Chakotay a PADD. “Here’s a gentleman’s catalog and contact information for my personal designer. He’s based in London, but he makes house calls.”

“What makes you think I need…?”

“Chakotay, I’ve seen your collection.” He moved in front of him on his way to the turbolift. “I think it’s time for an update.”

~^~

“You know, I really think I already own something I can wear tonight.” Kathryn said, smoothing out the folds of the current dress she was wearing.

Not that it did any good; she was currently being ignored.

“I like the blue one better, it really brings out your eyes.” From her perch on the edge of a comfortable sofa, Phoebe gave her unsolicited opinion. “What do you think Lettie?”

Kathryn watched her good friend and her sister actively debate the qualities of one of the many dresses she’d already tried on. At this present moment, they had zoned her out, and she took the opportunity to return to sifting through the dress rack.

She had to admit though – the day was turning out to be a pleasurable one. After breakfast, she invited Lettie to join her at the spa where her appointment for a simple Brazilian wax turned into a soothing sauna, a soak in a mud pond, and a relaxing hot stone massage. The champagne flowed – courtesy Lettie – and by the time they’d left the spa, she was buzzing with slight inebriation, an hour late for lunch with her mother, and sporting a brand new tattoo.

Lunch was at Kathryn’s childhood home in Indiana, where they entered Gretchen Janeway’s kitchen giggling like teenaged school girls sneaking into her mother’s house after curfew. Gretchen gave them both a mock glare, but Kathryn could tell that she was elated that her daughter finally seemed relaxed and herself again. 

And why wouldn’t she? Voyager was home, her crew safe and thriving. She had a job she loved and a man who adored her. She had the pleasure of the company of close friends and family whenever and wherever possible.

And today was her birthday.

And Chakotay and Seven were no longer together.

She froze.

Where the hell did that come from?

“I like that color…” Lettie’s voice broke into her thoughts, pointing to the dress Kathryn was holding. “…it’s not too red, more like…a good flavorful merlot. It’ll really bring out your hair.”

Kathryn turned, realizing that their attention was back on her. Unsure of what she might expose under their scrutiny, she moved away. “I’ll go try it on then.”

While in the changing room, she used the time to reign in her thoughts. Turning her bare back to face the mirror, she admired the tattoo she’d gotten just over her left shoulder blade. The Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager would never have gotten this. But the Kathryn Janeway back on Earth and living a more balanced life apparently had no qualms about it. 

Besides, it wasn’t that risqué, getting a tattoo. It was, as Lettie described it, tasteful, stunning, and depicted where she was in her life right now.

It would stay hidden beneath her uniform, and she could choose to reveal it in civilian clothing when and if she chose.

It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before. 

And it wasn’t as if she’d called out any names in the middle of sex or anything.

Damn it!

“Katie? Are you okay?” Phoebe called out from behind the closed door. “Your Aide just called in on your COMMbadge. He said that Ambassador Stark’s office wanted you to know that Marshall is on his way to Earth. Looks like they’ll be joining us for dinner after all.” 

There was no answer from Kathryn, and Phoebe knocked on the door. “Katie? Did you hear what I just…?”

Kathryn flung open the door suddenly, startling her.

“Okay, I lied. I am curious…” Kathryn admitted, seizing the opportunity to confront her sister. “How on earth did you find out about what Chakotay...” She hesitated, trying to decide how to form her next words. “…about what he said while he and Seven…”

Phoebe smirked. It had taken an immense effort on Kathryn’s part not to ask until now. Oh she had almost faltered earlier, when Lettie had asked Phoebe about her former first officer, and they had shared their own opinions about just how good-looking – hot was the word actually used – the man was. But other than that, her elder sister had been the picture of pure serenity. 

Until now.

“I thought you didn’t want to know.” Phoebe casually commented, reminding her about her adamant insistence back at the apartment that she not elaborate further. 

“Didn’t want to know what?” Lettie sidled up to them. 

“I’ve changed my mind.” Kathryn hissed, shooting Phoebe one of her deadliest glares.

Lettie watched the sisters march into the viewing room. “What did I miss?”

“Just like that?” Phoebe raised her eyebrow in classic Janeway style. “You are many things Kathryn. But capricious isn’t one of them. What’s changed?”

“Are you going to tell me or not?” Kathryn’s hands slid to her hips.

“Tell her what?” Lettie asked, exasperated.

“Ok fine.” Phoebe relented, throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis. “Mom told me.”

Kathryn gave her a disbelieving look. “And where the hell would she hear that sort of thing?” 

“From Admiral Paris of course.” Phoebe shrugged casually, like it was the most logical thing in the world. “That dress looks good on you. I think this is the one. There…” She pointed at the full length mirror. “…take a look.”

Kathryn was staring at her sister like she had grown two heads. “You just said that Admiral Paris told mom about Chakotay and Seven.”

“Chakotay is with the gorgeous blonde ex-Borg?” Lettie looked between them for an explanation. They ignored her.

“Yes, I did.” Phoebe said slowly. “Owen heard it from Tom, who heard it from B'Elanna who got it from that holographic Doctor. Seven apparently needed some advice and confided in him.” She nodded toward the dress she was wearing. “Do you like the dress or not?”

“Phoebe. Forget the damn dress.” She had spoken a little too loudly and had drawn curious looks from the other shoppers in the dress shop. With a lower voice, she pressed on. “Why would Seven confide in the Doctor?”

“Well, she couldn’t exactly come to you for advice now could she?” Phoebe reminded her. 

“No I guess not.” Kathryn mumbled thoughtfully. 

“Would someone tell me what the hell is going on?!”

Both Phoebe and Kathryn turned toward Lettie now, as if suddenly remembering that she was there with them.

“Chakotay and Seven are in a relationship.” Kathryn began simply.

“Were in a relationship.” Phoebe corrected. “Chakotay called Katie’s name out loud in the middle of…” 

“It doesn’t matter.” Kathryn interrupted, not missing Lettie’s widened eyes, followed by an amused quirk of her lips. “The question is, how could he let something like that happen?”

Now it was Phoebe’s turn to give her an amused look. “Haven’t you been listening? Obviously the man’s still in love with you. So the real question is…what are you going to do about it?”

~^~

“Do about what?” Chakotay asked, turning toward his first officer. They had just finished having drinks with Ambassador Stark and his ‘entourage’ – as Carter called the group – and were riding the turbolift back to the bridge. He had been happy for his XO’s silence so far; it gave him some much needed time to think about what had just happened. 

He should have known that Carter’s curiosity would prevail in the end.

“Really?” The Commander huffed. “You just found out that your date for the night is the same woman the Ambassador is planning to propose to. Your former Captain. Who you have been pining for…for how long now exactly?”

Chakotay gave him a warning look.

Carter barely blinked. “Did you even know they were in a relationship?”

Chakotay didn’t. But he wasn’t about to discuss it with his XO. He had no idea Kathryn was dating, much less dating a colleague she’d met on the Romulus mission. 

A colleague. Someone she worked with.

Now that stung.

So much for her almighty protocols.

When Stark had pulled that small square box from his pocket and pushed it toward him, asking for his opinion, Chakotay had felt like his whole world had tilted on its axis.

“You’re her best friend, Chakotay…” Stark had told him, blissfully unaware of Carter’s startled expression behind him. “…tell me…is it too soon? I know we’ve only be together for weeks, but when the heart knows, it knows, right?”

No one could identify with that phrase better than Chakotay. 

Stark had simply beaten him to the punch.

Chakotay both admired and envied the man in the same instant. What took him a mere seven weeks, had taken Chakotay seven years.

And Stark had a ring.

All he had was a gift he’d given to her years before; one that she had given him back.

“You didn’t know…” Carter broke into his thoughts. “…that sucks man. That. Really. Sucks.” He pretended to think for a moment. “You know what you need?”

Chakotay balked. “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

“What you need, is a plan.”

“What I need, is to get back to work.” As if in answer to his words, the turbolift came to a full stop, signaling their arrival at their destination. Chakotay wasted no time in exiting the confined space and returning to his seat on the bridge. “Report.”

“Repairs to the deflector dish are holding…” The officer at the ops station reported. “…we are maintaining course and speed. Proxima station has sent a bulletin about the ion storm; their readings indicate that it is gathering speed and increasing in size.”

“Then let’s make sure we’re ahead of it. Take us to warp eight.” Carter ordered, heading for his own seat. He hesitated slightly before sitting down, glancing at the ops officer for effect as he addressed his Captain. “Unless, you want to delay our arrival…you know, give you more time to think of a plan.”

Chakotay grimaced. He needed to get his nosy first officer off his back, despite the fact that he was right. But what could he do? What leverage did he have? Sure he had maintained an amicable friendship with Kathryn, and he still felt that he knew her better than anyone. But she and Stark had bonded intimately, and things between them had obviously progressed way beyond anything they’d ever had. 

The man had a ring for spirits sake. If that wasn’t serious… 

He glanced at Carter who was now watching him carefully.

“I can see those wheels turning.” The XO said softly, so as not to draw the attention of the others on the bridge. “From where I sit, you have a distinct advantage. You know her better.”

Despite his current thinking, Chakotay couldn’t disagree with that. “Yes I do.”

“Stark spent the last seven weeks with her.” Carter said. “But you…you’ve got seven years on him.”

Despite his best intentions, Chakotay found himself nodding. “A definite plus.”

Encouraged by his commanding officer’s response, Carter pressed on. “And from what I’ve heard, Stark is a notorious philanderer. As their relationship goes public, it’s bound to come up. I don’t think our Kathryn is going to appreciate that.”

Our Kathryn? 

“No. She’s not.” But then again, he’d had his own fair share of women over the years, pretty sizeable considering that he was in the Delta Quadrant. 

And Kathryn had taken it all in stride.

“You’re looking pretty good so far, my friend.” Carter reached over, slapping him on the shoulder. “There’s only one thing left to do.”

~^~

“There’s nothing else you can do,” Xander Cross gave his boss a sheepish look, “either you ask her to marry you or you don’t. But I have to say, you wouldn’t have bought a ring if you weren’t serious about her.”

Marshall nodded, absently buttoning the cuffs of his shirt, and inspecting his reflection in the full length mirror. The suit he had chosen to wear tonight was impeccable, as usual. “Maybe it’s too soon, maybe this is all happening too fast. I should give it more time. Who gets married after a couple of months?”

They were standing in the living room of the Stark household, a large Greek inspired mansion just outside London. The Nara had deposited them back on Earth just over an hour ago, and after dismissing his staff, they had opted to return here instead of Stark’s office in Paris.

Cross was walking toward him now, holding two glasses of an amber liquid Marshall surmised was from his collection of single malt scotch.

“Here, drink this.” He said handing him one of the glasses before downing his own drink in one gulp. “You’re freaking out.”

“Wouldn’t you be?” Stark swirled his own drink around before taking a mouthful. “I’m not asking her on a weekend getaway. I’m asking her to spend the rest of her life with me.”

“When the heart knows, it knows.” Xander quoted his boss’ words from earlier. He crossed the room and retrieved his jacket, returning his empty glass to the bar. When he turned back toward the living room, Stark still hadn’t moved. “Is something wrong?”

Marshall studied the contents of his glass before meeting his assistant’s stare. “Is it just me, or did Captain Chakotay seem a bit…unsettled…when I broke the news that I wanted to marry his best friend?”

Xander frowned. “He looked surprised, yes, but I just figured it meant that he didn’t expect a proposal so soon.”

“No, no…” Stark was shaking his head. “…it was something else. Almost like…” It was his turn to frown. “…do you think..?”

“What?”

“Never mind.” He finished off his drink, setting the empty glass down. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s go.”

~^~

“B'Elanna, let’s go!” 

“I just need five minutes!” B'Elanna called downstairs to her husband from the upstairs bedroom they shared.

In the foyer, Tom Paris jiggled his baby daughter on his left hip. “Your mama is going to make us late sweetie.”

Miral’s response was a spit-filled giggle.

“Sure,” he drawled, “laugh about it now, wait until…” The sound of the COMM unit interrupted him. “…now who could that be?”

When the viewscreen came to life on his command, Tom raised an eyebrow in true Janeway fashion.

“Why Miral,” He turned his daughter to face the image on the screen, “look who it is. It’s your long lost Uncle Chakotay.”

“Hello Tom.” 

Miral instantly reached forward toward Chakotay’s image, and Tom had to adjust his stance to keep his balance. “Well at least one of my girls still adore you.” He quipped. “I know it’s certainly not her Klingon side. To what do we owe the pleasure of your call?”

“Is that the COMM?!” B'Elanna called down from upstairs. “Who is it?”

Tom blanched, but recovered quickly. “It’s no one honey!” He shrugged at Chakotay’s frown. “Just a holomarketer!”

“So I’m ‘no one’ now?” Chakotay said as Tom transferred Miral from one hip to the other.

“Would you rather I told her it was you?” Tom said as Miral settled into her new position. “Look, she’ll be down any second, and I’d like my daughter’s first words to not be Klingon curses. So…”

“Fine.” Chakotay threw up his hands in surrender. “Just tell me where the dinner for the Admiral is and I’ll get out of your hair.”

“Like hell I’m going to tell you.” Tom hissed. “How could you possibly think it’s a good idea to even be in Janeway’s orbit right now? Especially after…” He stopped himself.

“You can say it…” Chakotay urged. “…especially after I called out her name in the middle of…”

Tom cut him off with a wave of his free hand. “I was going to say after you took her heart, phasered it, and scattered the pieces across the four corners of the universe. But hey, you grind whatever ax you can, right? So what’s your plan tonight, Chakotay? Are you going to rub it in her face some more? Do you have some hot new blonde to…”

“There’s no one. There’s only her.”

He said it with such sincerity and intensity that Tom’s planned reproach faltered. He studied Voyager’s former first officer closely. “You’re serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.” Chakotay tugged at his ear, an action that wasn’t lost on Voyager’s former pilot. “I want to make this right, Tom. Tonight.”

He was still contemplating Chakotay’s words when a voice sounded behind him.

“It’s that new restaurant that opened in mid-town.”

Both men turned their attention to B'Elanna as she moved to stand beside her husband. She leaned over the COMM briefly, before straightening up again and looking Chakotay in the eye. “I just sent you the address. If you’re going, you need to get there before 19:30 hours. Like I told you in the last message, it’s supposed to be a surprise party.”

Tom turned to his wife in disbelief. He’d had no idea that she’d sent a message.

“B'Elanna...” Chakotay watched his old friend as she relieved Tom of their daughter. “…it’s good to see…” 

“Don’t screw it up again.” She ordered, already moving away, obviously not willing to engage in a discussion with either man. “I won’t be so accommodating next time.”

~^~

“Next time?” Kathryn huffed, stepping out of the flitter. “As enjoyable as this was, do you really think I’m going to allow you to plan my birthday a next time?”

“I’d like to see you try to stop me.” Phoebe followed her sister as they made their way toward the restaurant’s entrance. “Oh, and feel free to reciprocate when my birthday comes around, in exactly six months, one week, four da…”

Kathryn stopped so suddenly, Phoebe almost ran into her. Turning slowly she surprised her little sister by enveloping her in a tight hug. 

“Katie, wha…?”

“Thanks for this Phoebe.” Kathryn said in her sister’s ear. “I know I seemed resistant to your efforts but you have no idea how much I appreciated this. It’s been a wonderful day.”

Phoebe hugged her back, feeling the emotion in her sibling’s words, and thinking that her sister truly had no idea what was coming next. “Even the Brazilian wax?”

Kathryn laughed aloud and they pulled apart. “Yes Phoebe, even the Brazilian wax.”

“Well, the day isn’t over yet.” Phoebe reminded her. “Not by a…”

“You two coming or what?” Lettie, who had walked on ahead was holding open the door for them. “I’m getting sober here. I need more wine.”

Phoebe glanced between the two women. “Remind me…how is she your friend?”

The three entered the restaurant. “We’re very much alike, considerably more than you might know.” Kathryn commented, wondering absently at the dimmed lights and unnatural quiet in the area they’d just entered. “So it should come as no…”

“SURPRISE!!!”

The room exploded in a cacophony of light and sound as voices joined in unison in cheering and clapping to the backdrop of lively music.

All around her, relatives, friends and her former crew, watched as a stunned Janeway playfully punched her sister in her arm, before pulling her into a teary hug.

“You scheming little brat.” Janeway husked, overcome with emotion. “I’m definitely planning your next birthday. If only to get back at you.” 

“I’m looking forward to it.” Phoebe said over the din. Then, gesturing toward those gathered, she said, “Now, let’s enjoy your birthday, shall we?”

~^~

“Looks like everyone is enjoying themselves.”

She figured he’d find her alone eventually. Dinner had been served, toasts given, and dessert eaten. She had even opened her birthday gifts, on the crew’s insistence. Now, everyone was mingling, some were dancing, and she had taken the time to escape to catch her breath for a few minutes.

Like he knew she would.

She watched as he approached; she was leaning against a balustrade facing the glass windows of the restaurant, which gave her an unobstructed view of the festivities inside.

“Phoebe certainly knows how to throw a party.” Shouts and whistles erupted from inside, giving her pause. “Do you know she actually booked the entire restaurant for the evening?”

“I didn’t.” Chakotay joined her on the balcony, hoisting himself up to sit beside where she was leaning. “But based on what I’ve heard tonight, she’s quite the sister.”

At Kathryn’s questioning look, he tugged at his ear, smirking. “I danced with your academy friend Lettie earlier. She had some interesting things to say.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes. “I’ll bet.”

He gave her an amused look. “Don’t worry. She didn’t tell me where the bodies are buried.”

“I know she wouldn’t.” She said confidently. “You can dig all you want, my secrets are safe with her.”

“Really?” He leaned closer to her, and his voice dropped an octave. “How can you be so sure?”

He’s flirting. Kathryn thought, wondering not for the first time, how she ever resisted his charm back on Voyager.

“Because, whatever she knows about me, I know worse about her.”

“Ahh..” Chakotay grinned, bumping her shoulder gently before straightening. “…the secret to a long-lasting friendship.”

She didn’t miss his double meaning as her shoulders shook with a silent laugh. He’s definitely flirting. “I’m glad you could come.”

~^~

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Marshall smiled, snagging two champagne flutes from a passing waiter. Handing one to Phoebe he continued, “Thank you for the invitation. You throw quite the party.”

Phoebe shook her head, at the same time gazing around at everyone enjoying themselves. “Thanks, but I can’t take all of the credit. Katie’s former crew helped. Apparently they all love her to death.”

He nodded, unsurprised. “So it would seem. It takes someone special to have that kind of devotion from a crew.”

“She does have a way, doesn’t she?” She met his gaze straight on. “Is that what made you fall for her?” Phoebe asked. “Why you’re planning to propose?”

Marshall frowned. The woman was nothing if not straightforward. “I’m not that obvious, am I?”

She shrugged. “You look unsure of yourself, something I expect a man of your stature and position to never portray. You’ve found every opportunity to stay within Kathryn’s orbit, just in case the right moment presents itself.”

“That doesn’t mean anything Phoebe.” He argued. “We’re dating. It’s to be expected that I would…”

“And,” she interrupted, “you’ve had your hand in your left pocket jacket all evening, as if making sure that small velvet covered box you’ve been carrying was still there.”

Marshall sighed. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the box in question. “It’s satin actually. Velvet is overrated.”

“I have to tell you, I’m not impressed.”

“With the box?”

“No. With you. As far as the criteria for a man on a mission goes, you check all the boxes.” She took the box from his outstretched hand. “But somehow, you’re holding back.”

“What makes you think that?”

“May I?” At his nod, she opened the box. The ring inside sparkled in its newfound light. “Now that’s impressive.” She snapped it shut and leaning forward, returned it to his pocket. “Now tell me. Why the second thoughts?”

“Are you sure you’re not working for Starfleet Intelligence?” At her stern look, he relented. “Okay, fine. I may have one concern.”

He told her about his trip home on the Nara, when he showed Chakotay the ring and asked for his advice about proposing to Kathryn. He pointed out to her his suspicions that – based on Chakotay's reaction – there was something more between them.

“And you think they have some sort of history.” Phoebe concluded when he’d finished. 

“Well? Do they?”

~^~

“What kind of history?” Lettie slurred. “Ancient? Modern? Or Sexual?”

B'Elanna smirked. This slightly inebriated, carefree woman is a close friend of Kathryn Janeway? From their position propped up by the bar, where the drinks were flowing and the conversation was heading into precarious territory, she figured anything she ‘neither denied nor confirmed’ couldn’t do much more damage to Janeway and Chakotay’s already precarious relationship.

“We’re not really sure.” She said. “It was…or is, their best kept secret.”

“Well, he’s not so good at it.” Lettie countered. “If he called out her name in the middle of…”

B'Elanna almost inhaled the wine she was drinking, effective cutting off Lettie’s words with her coughing. “You know about that?!” She spluttered. 

Lettie rolled her eyes. “I heard it from Katie and Phoebe, but your fellow comrades are not as discreet as they think. I could write a best-selling, bodice ripping, mind blowing romance holo-novel with everything I’ve heard tonight.”

~^~

“Whatever you’ve heard is probably an exaggeration.” Chakotay defended. “Our former crew wasn’t the most supportive when Seven and I were…” he stopped. 

“Together?” Kathryn finished for him. “Dating? You can say it you know. I was serious when I told you that I’m happy you took the chance and moved on.”

He openly watched her now, all relaxed and so much more Kathryn Janeway in this moment than he’d seen in a long time. The wine colored dress she wore highlighted her pale skin, complemented her burnished hair, and brightened her blue eyes. 

They were in that place and time that didn’t come often and didn’t last long, but when it did, it made him wish the moment would last forever.

“You really were sincere about that?” He asked softly, watching as she nodded her reply. “You have no idea how much that means to me. How you were the only one who supported us.”

She smiled, turning to pat his knee. “That’s what friends are for.”

He chuckled, bending his head. “Yeah? Well given recent events, I think we’re way past friends.”

“Especially after recent events.” Kathryn emphasized, referring in particular to the catalyst for his breakup with Seven. “But I believe we’ve been ‘way past that’ for a long time now.”

~^~

“How long, exactly?” Lettie asked.

Phoebe shrugged. “Long enough for the goodly Ambassador to be concerned that there’s something going on between Katie and Chakotay.”

She had joined both B'Elanna and Lettie after Marshall had gone in search of Kathryn; on her way over she had spotted them outside, on a private balcony. 

“That doesn’t mean anything.” B'Elanna interjected. “They did that all the time back on Voyager. It wasn’t unusual to see them off in one corner of the room together during social events.”

“And you’re certain that they never…” Lettie waved her hand around. “…you know, played ‘hide the Maquis’, or ‘shake the sheets’, or my personal favorite – ‘Foxtrot-Uniform-Charlie-Kilo’?”

B'Elanna was staring. “You are so nothing like the Admiral. How are you two friends?”

Lettie shook her head in disagreement. “We’re more alike than you think. You only saw what she wanted you to see.”

“And I have news for you, B'Elanna….” Phoebe turned as she spoke, facing the couple in question, who were deeply engrossed in conversation, looking for all the world like the couple many think they should be. “…they’re not on Voyager anymore.”

~^~

“You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that.” Chakotay could only watch, amused, as Kathryn struggled to contain her laughter. “And I have to say, it’s beginning to get a bit tiring being the punch line of a joke.”

“It’s not like that,” she hiccupped, “I’m sorry.” She saw his disbelieving look. “Really I am. I just…never had my name called out like…you know.” Her laughter finally under control, she asked, “What were you thinking?”

He tugged at his ear again, a smirk forming. “I wasn’t actually. My subconscious kind of took over.”

Now it was her turn to look at him doubtfully. “That never happened on Voyager.”

“Well, we’re not on Voyager anymore.”

His hand grazed her shoulder, and the current she’d thought long gone was back with a vengeance, coursing through her like she’d came in contact with an exposed power conduit. She gasped involuntarily, and somewhere dark and deep and not explored in a long, long time, a fire came alive.

He felt it too, and it gave him the final push to do what he’d intended.

In one swift movement, he slid from the balcony and taking her upper arm gently, he turned her to face him.

“Kathryn. I know about you and Marshall.”

She figured he would. Marshall told her that Chakotay's ship was the one that had brought him back to Earth from Proxima, and it was likely that her name would have come up in conversation. And even though she and Marshall had arrived separately tonight and they had socialized more with others than with each other, he may have sensed that something was going on. The man was as astute as they came. Especially when it came to her.

“And…?”

“And, you have to know, there’s someone out there who’s a better fit for you.” She opened her mouth to say something, but he silenced her with a finger to her lips. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out the box he’d intended for her. “I know you already opened your birthday gifts but I wanted to give you mine in private.”

She gave him a curious look, but took the box he’d cradled so lovingly all day. Pulling the bow apart, she lifted the lid.

“Happy Birthday, Kathryn.”

“Oh Chakotay…” She whispered, the significance of this particular gift not lost on her. “…you still have this.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.” He watched as she ran her fingers gently over the stones just as she had the first time he had given it to her.

He let her pull the mirror out of its delicate casing and turn it over before he spoke again. “I know my timing is terrible but I figured that there is never going to be a right time where you and I are concerned.”

“When in doubt, look here.” Kathryn read the inscription aloud, memories of the last time he’d given her this overwhelming her. “Chakotay, I…” she started, but he silenced her again.

“I know now that I can’t move on with anyone else. And I can’t watch you be with anyone else. I’ve always had my own dreams of what it would be like for us when we got back, even more so after that night on the holodeck. And even though nothing turned out the way I’d hoped, one thing has remained constant. The way I feel about you. It’s always been you Kathryn. From the moment you looked up at me on that bridge and challenged me with nothing but your death glare.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He had moved closer to her as they talked, and she started stepping back, away from him. “Things between us, Chakotay…they’re complicated.”

“Life is complicated.” He matched her step for step, before taking her arm to still her. “But we’d find a way. If you talk to Marshall, I’m sure we could…”

Chakotay, you have sacrificed so much for me.” She said, fighting her own body’s reaction as he pulled her closer to him. “I owe everything to you. You’re my best friend.”

“But…?” He husked into her ear, confident that she hadn’t a shred of resistance left in her.

She shuddered when his lips grazed hers lightly. “I can't.”

He moved back so he could look into her eyes. “You’re serious? You’re turning me down. Again.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

A soft knock against glass and a voice sounded from close by. “Kate?”

Both Kathryn and Chakotay looked up to see Marshall standing at the balcony doors. 

Kathryn took a hasty step away from Chakotay, who had turned away to run his hand through his hair.

“Hope I’m not interrupting, but things are showing signs of wrapping up inside.” Marshall observed the scene he had walked in on, wishing for all the world that his imagination was still in overdrive. “Thought you might like to say some goodbyes.”

Kathryn centered herself with a deep breath. “I would like that, thanks.” Movement beside her made her look in Chakotay’s direction.

His composure restored, he met Marshall’s gaze, as he moved toward him, pausing only to clap him on his shoulder as he passed. “Sorry to have taken up her time...she’s all yours.”

Kathryn didn’t miss the double meaning of his words. Apparently Marshall didn’t either.

“Should I be worried?” He said lightly, watching how Kathryn was still staring through the restaurant’s doors.

She watched as Chakotay said his goodbyes, before shaking her head and refocusing on Marshall. “No, not at all. Just some…unfinished business. You and I…we haven’t had a chance to talk for most of the evening. Are you good?”

Marshall nodded. “I’m fine, and I understand. I had the chance to meet most of your former crew, they’re quite…”

But Kathryn wasn’t listening. She had already looked away from Marshall, staring into the restaurant at Chakotay.

“…and Lettie,” Marshall continued, “well, she’s something, isn’t she? You know she actually…”

“Would you excuse me for just one minute?” Kathryn interrupted, her attention now darting between Chakotay and a very confused Marshall. 

She started to move away, but he grabbed her arm. “Where are you going?”

She pulled away, trying – but failing – to give him her most reassuring smile. “Just one minute.”

~^~

“Surely you can stay just a few more minutes…” Tom cajoled Chakotay as he hugged B'Elanna goodnight. “...it’s not very often that all of us are in the same…”

“Chakotay…” 

They turned as Kathryn moved quickly toward them. 

“I should really get going.” He gave Lettie a quick kiss on the cheek before moving away. “A pleasure meeting you Lettie.” He said just before making a quick exit.

He was through the restaurant’s doors and almost to the sidewalk before Kathryn could catch up with him. “Chakotay, wait!” Kathryn again called out. “Please listen to me.”

“Does he know?” He paused only to ask her. “Did you tell him?”

“If you could please, just listen to me.” She followed when he marched away again.

“Did you tell him?!” They were on the sidewalk now and Chakotay was showing no signs of slowing down. 

“Chakotay, please!”

“ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM?!” He stopped and turned toward her so suddenly, she almost collided with him. 

“There’s nothing to tell!” She yelled back.

They were both breathing heavily, the tension in the air not lost on either of them.

Chakotay ran his hands through his hair. “Alright, so the last seven years didn’t happen, that night on New Earth didn’t happen, the sail on Lake George the night you almost died DIDN’T HAPPEN, dinner in Venice, the bonding box, the mirror…DIDN’T HAPPEN!”

“Chakotay…”

He grabbed her shoulders. “Me, calling out your name with Seven wasn’t an accident Kathryn. It was everything I've ever felt for you that has been bottled up starting to spill out.”

Eyes wide with shock, Kathryn started shaking her head. Then, anger welling up inside her, she surprised them both with her response. “So what? You decide to spring this on me now? The minute I decide to move on? How selfish is that?!”

“You’re damn right I’m selfish.” He ground out. “How much did I give up for you out there?!” He waved his arm around.

“And you don’t think I made sacrifices too?” She lowered her voice, mindful that they were still in a public place. “You think this was all one sided?”

Chakotay would show no such restraint. “How would I know?! You NEVER wanted to talk about it!”

“There was…is nothing to talk about.” She repeated her earlier words. “Nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened?!…” He turned away, running his hand through his hair again, trying to control his anger. “Nothing happ…”

“We both knew us moving on was a possibility, Chakotay.” Kathryn grabbed his arm, pulling him around to face her. “Neither of us wanted to acknowledge this…” she used the same hand to gesture between them “…acknowledge us.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Chakotay spoke.

“Alright. Okay Kathryn. It’s here, right now.” He said, fighting everything within him to remain calm. “So…let’s acknowledge it. I love you Kathryn.” He grabbed her face between his hands and held on. “I love you…ever since I first saw you, I knew I loved you, hell, even my spirit guide knew it. There I said it. And I’ll say it again…I love you Kathryn Janeway. Remember what you said that night to me in Venice? You said that you weren’t saying never, just not yet. Not until you’re no longer responsible for my life. Well, you’re not. Not anymore. Come with me Kathryn. Let’s start this journey, tonight. We’ll go back to the restaurant and we’ll tell Stark everything. Then we can start over. That is what you want, right?”

“Chakotay…” Kathryn was pulling away from him, shaking her head slightly, tears streaming down her cheeks. His declaration was everything she’d ever dreamed of hearing – his offer to be with her, everything she’d ever wanted.

“It is what you want, right?!” His voice was heavy with unrestrained emotion, his own eyes filling with unshed tears.

“Let me explain…” She said in a shaky voice, but as she reached out to him he pulled away.

He waved her off, his hands visibly trembling. “It’s fine. Really. You don’t have to explain your actions any more than I needed to explain mine. Stark is a good guy. Have a great life.”

~^~

“My life is fine just the way it is…” Kathryn heard Lettie disclose to her small audience as she slowly reentered the restaurant. She had silently watched Chakotay dematerialize in a haze of blue light just after calling for a beam out. His final words to her had signaled a finality of sorts between them, and she could almost imagine a final nail being pounded into the proverbial coffin of their relationship.

Her reverie was broken by the sound of Marshall’s voice responding to something Lettie said. “But surely you must get tired of traversing the quadrant constantly, you never thought of putting down roots?” 

Schooling her features, she came into view of the group of some of her former crew around the bar with Marshall and Lettie.

“There she is!” Lettie moved toward her, a drink in each hand. “We thought you and the handsome Chakotay had run off together. Here.” She handed Kathryn a drink, oblivious of the looks exchanged among the group behind her. “Marshall here was just trying to convince me to settle down, on Earth of all places.”

Kathryn had locked eyes with Marshall since she entered, trying to convey her apologies. His features were unreadable, and she was sure he could read the turmoil raging inside her, see right through her calm façade to just how much her encounter with Chakotay had affected her. 

Her Starfleet training kicked in, and she regained her composure enough to respond playfully. “Well, if Marshall can’t convince you, nobody can. He’s one of the best negotiators I’ve had the pleasure of working with.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere with me,” Marshall gave her one of his charming smiles, holding his hand out to her, “and it will also earn you a dance.”

Kathryn took his offered arm as he guided her to the dance floor, letting him lead in a slow sultry dance. He pulled her closer as they moved, burying his face in her hair.

He sighed, which caused her to pull back from him slightly.

“Hey…” She ran her fingers down the side of his face. “…you seem a million miles away. Everything okay?”

He caught her hand in his, kissing her fingers lightly, before letting it go. “I’m actually tired; it’s been a really long day. What about you? Did you have a good birthday?”

“I did.” She smirked, more to herself, remembering all that she’d done today. Then, pushing thoughts of Chakotay away, she refocused on him as her lips curled into her signature lopsided smile. Running her finger down his chest, she asked, “Is it going to get better?”

“Kathryn…” For a second time he caught her hand in his, this time squeezing it. “…we have a connection, and I will never regret what we had.”

She frowned. “Had? Marshall…”

When had they stopped dancing completely? She thought, as he purposefully took a small step back from her.

“You have had a profound impact on my life, Kate.”

“There’s that word again.” She said. “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

He gave her a sad smile. “But I don’t think we should explore this thing between us anymore.”

Kathryn was staring at him, bewildered, which made what he was doing all the more difficult.

“Marshall…wait…is it about what Lettie said? I know she can be a bit…”

He was shaking his head. “No, no. Lettie’s great, and you should be proud to call her a friend. She’s just seeking your interest. Anyone would be lucky to have a friend like her.”

“So then what happened?” Kathryn asked. “What’s changed?”

He looked into her worried eyes and tucked a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. “I saw you and Chakotay together for the first time tonight since I’ve known you. Chakotay happened. And he changed everything.”

She gave him a disbelieving look. “So you see us talking and all of a sudden…”

“Kate.” He cupped her cheek, placing his thumb on her lips to silence her. “I see the way that you look at him. It’s the same way that he looks at you. It’s like you lost each other in a crowd and then you finally catch his eye from across the room. In the short time we’ve been together I’ve seen you in so many ways. But never like this.”

“Like what?”

“This…this…glow. You light up the dark. And Chakotay – not me – is responsible. And I realized, even if we stayed together, it would only be a matter of time.”

“Marshall…” She shook her head, trying to find the right words. “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you. In fact, I’m not mad at all. I just want you to be happy Kate. So I’m getting out of the way. It’s the best birthday gift I could ever give you.”

~^~

“You know what’s the best birthday gift I ever got?” Carter slurred, settling himself – and a bottle of whiskey – on the porch steps beside his commanding officer. “A suitcase.”

Chakotay looked up at him in equal drunken amusement. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” He refilled Chakotay's glass – and his own – as he spoke. “My ex-girlfriend, Cassidy, gave it to me. She told me to use it to pack my things in, then she promptly threw me out.”

“Wow. That’s…” Chakotay was at a loss for words. “…and that’s the best gift you’ve ever got?”

“Damn right!” Carter exclaimed, holding up his glass briefly before emptying it in one swallow. “Cassie was possessive, demanding, and my biggest relationship mistake. Ever. She did me a favor.”

Chakotay shook his head, chuckling, before downing the contents of his glass.

He was still trying to figure out what led him to his First Officer’s house in the first place. Carter was initially surprised to see him, but nodded in understanding when he realized that his boss’ evening didn’t go as planned.

The house was filled with Nara’s crew and their friends, some dancing, some talking, and others playing a raucous game of poker. Chakotay's appearance drew more than their fair share of curious – and apprehensive – looks, so Carter had gestured to the porch steps, before disappearing into the house, only to return moments later with a bottle and two whiskey glasses.

Now more than an hour and a second bottle later, Chakotay was silently debating the sensibility of his decision to come here.

“You did the right thing, you know.” Carter muttered as he refilled their empty glasses.

Chakotay huffed. “What? Coming here and getting drunk? I’ve made better decisions, I’m sure.”

“No man…” Carter dismissed his words with a wave of his hand. “…you made the right decision in telling her how you feel.” His face took on a serious look. “But you’ve learned your lesson now. It’s time to get over her.”

Chakotay frowned. “Excuse me? Earlier today…mere hours ago, you were trying to convince me to go after her. ‘You need a plan’ you said.”

“That was earlier today.” Carter said. “You took my sound advice. But you didn’t succeed. So…don’t obsess, move on.”

“Carter, you are a pain in my ass…” With as much elegance as one could muster while inebriated, Chakotay finished his drink and got to his feet. “…but I thank you for your hospitality. And your advice. But I think I need to go home now and sleep this off before I embarrass myself in front of my crew.”

“I mean it boss…” Carter called after him as he walked away. “…let it go. Don’t make this your life, mooning over something you can’t have. Or you’ll become a cliché.”

~^~

“I’ve become a cliché.” Kathryn declared.

Lettie looked up from her carton of ice cream. “Don’t be silly.”

“No I have.” She argued, gesturing with the ice cream spoon she was holding. “Think about it. It’s a complicated cliché, but it’s a cliché.”

Lettie looked at her longtime friend, lips twitching. “Which part? The -‘he called out my name while in bed with another woman’ - part, or the -‘my boyfriend realized that he was no competition for the other handsome eligible hunk and broke up with me’ - part?”

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. “Hunk? Hunk of what?”

Lettie sighed. “Either you’ve been off the grid for too long, or you’re more drunk than I thought. Computer, define ‘hunk’”

The computer chirped in acknowledgement, then replied. 

“Hunk…an urban slang, typically referring to an attractive male, usually with nice chiseled abs, a very sexy tan, and a big...”

“Computer terminate request.” Kathryn ordered quickly.

“Anyone you know?” Lettie grinned.

“This is funny to you?” Kathryn tried and failed at her best glare before she found herself chuckling along with her. 

She looked around the living room of her apartment where they were currently situated, binge eating ice cream, remnants of the effects from their alcohol consumption from earlier in the evening sliding away as they each consumed their favorite flavors.

It wasn’t exactly how she expected the evening to end, what with Phoebe’s sanctioned Brazilian wax and all, but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to feel any sadness, or anger, or disappointment at how things played out.

Her gaze fell on her sister, who was studiously eating her ice cream. 

She wasn’t talking.

In fact, she hadn’t said a word since they’d left the restaurant.

And that only meant one thing.

Phoebe, this quiet, was hiding something from her.

“You’ve become considerably less talkative all of a sudden.” Kathryn told her. “Nothing to say? No jibe about my complex love life, or lack thereof? No sisterly ribbing about my wasted Brazilian wax? Everything okay?”

“Fine.” Phoebe’s answer was crisp and succinct, and she refused to meet anyone’s gaze.

Lettie and Kathryn shared a knowing look.

“So…speaking about your love life…” Lettie paused to savor a spoonful of ice cream before she continued. “…what’s next for Kathryn Janeway?”

Kathryn looked at her like she was crazy. “I think I’ve had enough of the relationship roller coaster for now.”

“Not bloody likely!” Lettie exclaimed. “Before Marshall, you didn’t have sex for like…what? Seven years?”

She fixed her friend with a mock glare. “Your point?”

“My point is…you shouldn’t let the pilot light go out again. That’s all I’m sayin’.”

Kathryn almost exhaled her ice cream. “Pilot light?”

“You know what I mean.” Lettie said suggestively. “Sometimes you have to get under someone to get over someone.”

“And who exactly do you think…”

“Kathryn I have something to tell you.” Phoebe announced.

“Aaaand she’s back.” Lettie waved an arm toward her dramatically.

“Didn’t doubt that for a second.” Kathryn raised an eyebrow at her sister. “And the mere idea that you didn’t call me Katie for the first time in…”

“Marshall was going to propose.” 

Both Lettie and Kathryn froze.

“Excuse me?” 

“I beg your pardon?”

Both women spoke at the same time, staring down Phoebe with wide eyes and open mouths.

“He wanted to marry you, Katie.” Phoebe said simply.

Pushing away her ice cream, Kathryn stood up. “And you know this, how?”

“He told me.” She stated. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He had a ring and everything.”

Kathryn gasped, holding a trembling hand to her mouth.

Lettie glanced between the two sisters, before leveling her gaze on Phoebe. “If this is some kind of sick...”

“It’s not a joke Lettie. And there’s more.”

Kathryn threw her hands up in the air. “Of course there is!”

Phoebe sighed, resignedly. Better to tell her everything. What was that saying? ‘In for a penny…’ 

“He told Chakotay.”

Kathryn blinked. “What? When?”

“When they were on Chakotay's ship, on their way back from Proxima.” Phoebe replied. “He wanted your best friend’s opinion, he said. So he showed him the ring, and asked if he thought it was too soon. Needless to say, Marshall got more than he bargained for.”

“I’d say.” Lettie watched as Kathryn returned to her spot on the sofa, slumping into the seat. “Did Marshall say what Chakotay told him?”

Phoebe nodded. “He did. He said Chakotay told him that there was never a right time, and that if it felt right, he should act without hesitation.”

Kathryn leaned forward, her face grim as she faced her sister. “Start from the beginning. I want you to tell me everything.”

~^~

“There’s nothing else to tell Xander.” Marshall assured him. But even over the COMM, he could tell that his aide was unconvinced. 

He had been waiting for his call, if only to discuss when an official engagement announcement would be made. What he didn’t expect was to hear that not only was there not an engagement, but that his boss had unceremoniously dumped his girlfriend. And in the most dubious of circumstances.

“So let me get this straight…you broke it off because of some heightened sense that she and Chakotay are somehow soul mates?” Xander shook his head incredulously. “Did you even think to ask Kathryn if she had feelings for the man?” 

“And have to stand there and listen to her admit that she does?” He said dryly, taking a long sip from his whiskey tumbler. “No thanks.”

“You do realize that you have no basis for calling things off with her do you? Call her, it’s not too late, tell her you made a huge mistake, surely she could…”

“She glowed Xander.”

Cross stared at him like he had grown an extra head. “I beg your pardon sir?” 

Marshall sighed, finishing his drink before speaking again. “When we were together, I always sensed this…longing. Like she was looking for completion.” He waved off Xander’s attempt to interrupt. “Don’t get me wrong, we were happy…she, was happy. And I am certain that had things progressed, we would have had a great life.”

“And yet you still went ahead and called off the relationship? You’re not making any sense.”

“I don’t expect you to understand Xander. Just know that we were happy together, I for one was the happiest I’ve ever been. But when I saw Kathryn with Chakotay on that balcony, I knew that whatever we would have had, couldn’t hold a candle to what they were only just barely skimming the surface of.” 

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry it didn’t work out sir.” Xander said. “If there is anything I could do…”

Marshall gave him a reassuring look. “I’ll be fine. It’s been a long day, so I think I will call it a night. See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow sir.” Xander gave him one last sympathetic look, before he signed off.

Marshall closed the channel, rising to pour himself another drink. As he watched the smooth liquid filling his glass, all the emotions he felt today came colliding within his chest. 

Anticipation.

Fear.

Surprise.

Sadness.

When the glass he didn’t even realize he had picked up hit the wall with a crash, scattering glass and its contents everywhere, only one emotion came to the fore…

Anger. 

~^~

Chakotay watched the glass he’d just shattered against his living room wall. 

He wanted to punch something.

A brick wall.

A steel door.

An angry. Giant. Tardigrade.

Anything.

Today didn’t end the way he’d planned. Not even close. 

What had started with burgeoning promise, had all crashed and burned in the valley of disappointment. He’d lost any hope of a future with Kathryn, and he’d lost his best friend. Oh yes, he was damned angry.

So engrossed he was with cleaning up the remnants of his eruption of rage that he almost missed the door chime.

Chakotay eyed her appearance as she stood just outside his door. 

She looked tired, and defeated.

And gorgeous as hell.

He drank her in, a part of him disbelieving that she was really here, the other part not able to take his eyes away from her as she moved past him and into his house.

She was still wearing the dress from her birthday dinner, and he was just taking inventory of all the ways it flattered her lithe figure, when she broke the tense silence.

“You broke my heart when you moved on.” She said. 

No anger. No accusation. Just a simple truth.

Chakotay blanched. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” Kathryn felt her annoyance from their earlier argument returning. “Because then you’d have to acknowledge that I actually have feelings?”

His gaze dropped from hers. “I’ve always known, Kathryn.” He admitted. “But you’ve always kept your feelings so well hidden. Even from yourself.”

She sighed and looked away from him as well, all of the fight leaving her. “I know.”

She saw the shattered glass that he’d thrown against the wall earlier in a fit of rage; realized that she had probably interrupted his attempt to clean up the mess. She met his eyes then…time to clean up the mess between them.

She took a step toward him.

“I didn’t come here to argue with you again. Or rehash the past. I came to give you this.” And she brought something forward from behind her back.

Chakotay hadn’t even realized that she’d been hiding something.

Then his jaw dropped.

“Kathryn…” He whispered, looking over the bonding box he had only seen once before. “…you still have this.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.” She mirrored his words from earlier in the evening, noting his intake of breath. He remembered.

Just as he had the first time she had given it to him all those years ago, he turned it slowly, carefully, taking inventory of the symbols.

Eternity.

Commitment. 

Fidelity.

Two spirits joined as one.

And…

He couldn’t suppress his gasp as the last symbol revealed itself.

Love.

“Kathryn…” His heart was racing but his brain was sending a caution signal.

“I know what it means.” She interrupted him, trying to alleviate his fears. “This isn’t a mistake.”

“But…” He stammered. “…what you said…earlier…” He swallowed, hoping it would calm his anxiety. “…what about Stark?”

She shook her head. “It’s over.”

Those two words were heavy with unspoken sentiment that they would have to discuss in due course, but spirits help him he couldn’t avoid the sparks of hope and joy from skipping past his anxiety. Cupping the nape of her neck, he hauled her toward him. Kathryn met him halfway, her eyes locked on his until the last second, when he took her mouth in a searing kiss.

Then his own eyes closed as heat surged through him. A wave of pure, unadulterated happiness was building within him at an amazing speed now, as he slanted his head, glorying in her taste – coffee ice cream, and wine? – trying to kiss her from every possible angle.

They pulled away slowly and she scanned every part of his beautiful, contented features. His eyes were still closed and while she waited for him to open them again she let everything she was feeling for him, and how badly she wanted him show on her face.

Chakotay opened his eyes slowly, and when they met hers, he froze.

Kathryn grinned.

“Am I glowing?” She asked.

He gave her a full smile, dimples and all. She was doomed. “Like a star about to supernova.”

Still holding the box, he took her hand in his. “Come with me.”

Her smile was pure mischief. “That’s the plan.”

The promise in her voice only added in his rush to get her into his bed.

~^~

Kathryn stretched lazily beneath the softness of the silk sheet, barely stifling a quiet moan. Nothing like a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, with nothing but the chirping of birds and the warmth of the morning sun to wake her.

She stilled.

She didn’t have silk sheets.

And birds didn’t chirp outside her window.

In her frozen state, she took inventory of her situation. She was naked – check. Her body felt…well…used – but in a good way – check. She turned her head slowly toward the naked form sleeping blissfully next to her. Yep, she thought, in a naked Chakotay's bed – check.

So it really happened. 

She closed her eyes as memories of the previous night stormed her thoughts and she smiled. One Brazilian wax put to good use – check.

“What are you smiling at?”

She opened her eyes to watch the man lying next to her. “Nothing.”

“Liar.” In one quick movement, he pulled her against him, spooning her from behind. His mouth began tracing its way from behind her ear and down the back of her neck.

“I meant to tell you last night…” One hand slid lower from his hold around her waist, while the other traced the mark on her left shoulder. “…nice tattoo.”

“Thank you. It seemed fitting.”

Chakotay examined the golden bird that gave the appearance of movement in flight. Admiring the complexity and artistry, he committed every detail to memory, using its profoundness to give him the courage to say what he needed to say to her next.

“You mean everything to me, Kathryn.” He paused as she turned in his arms to face him. “Everything. Without you, nothing makes sense.”

“Oh Chakotay…” Kathryn husked, kissing him lightly before pulling back. “…you don’t have to…”

He put a finger to her mouth. “Just let me talk. Okay? I need to get this out.”

Kathryn nodded. Chakotay took his hand away, trailing a finger down and across her jaw, tracing a path between her breasts before resting his palm there.

“You’ll be surprised to hear me say this, but I’m not the best at expressing myself.” 

They both grinned, knowing that she was in fact, not. Chakotay's history of ancient legends and parables were not a secret.

“Anyway…” He continued. “…maybe that’s why it took seven years for us to get here. I can’t believe how lucky I am, Kathryn. I love what we’ve become. I love the person, the man that you make me.” Chakotay's jaw tightened, and his voice was gruff. “You are my starting point. And you are my end point. You are my north star. I could do this a million times, with a million hearts, but you’re the only one who lights me up like I’m glowing in the dark.”

Kathryn stared at his beautiful face, all his emotions on full display. Everything was silent around them now, and she felt a deep sense of peace and homecoming wash over her. 

Tears started to threaten, and her voice hitched. “I thought what I had with Marshall was love. I’d fooled myself into believing that I was in love with him. But it wasn’t love at all, because I know what love really is, and it’s with me now, holding me like he won’t let go.”

“I won’t.” With shaking fingers, he cradled her head, spearing his fingers through her hair, tipping her face up to his so reverently that Kathryn couldn’t keep the tears from spilling over. 

“I won’t.” He repeated. 

Then he bent his head and kissed her once, twice, and then for a long, long time, as if they’d never kissed before.

Chakotay tasted the salt of her tears as he pulled away. “This is the last time I want to see you cry.” He said gruffly.

Kathryn gave him a watery smile. “I love you Chakotay.”

“And I love you, Kathryn Janeway. So, will you marry me, and make me happier than I ever thought possible?”

~^~

Four Years Later…

“Well I can’t say I ever thought this would be possible.”

Kathryn looked up from her PADD and her eyes widened in surprise. 

“And what’s that?” She smiled, patting the empty space beside her for him to join her.

“You, looking more beautiful than the last time we saw each other.” He took the offered seat, looking around at their surroundings in Starfleet Academy’s gardens before turning his attention to her. “It’s good to see you again, Kate.”

“And you as well, Marshall.” Kathryn patted his knee briefly. “How have you been?”

“Busy.” He smiled. “And happy. Something else I never thought possible. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Me? How so?”

“Well…” He relaxed on the park bench, enjoying the chance to be outdoors for a few minutes, instead of stuck inside in meetings and other official business. “…if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met my wife. She sends her love by the way. She couldn’t make the trip to Earth this time.”

“That’s right. She’s due any day now.” Kathryn shot him an amused look. “Who would have thought, Lettie Garrett, married, settled down in one place, and expecting.”

“Twins, at that.” Marshall confirmed. “Speaking of which…” He looked pointedly at her protruding belly. “…how far along are you?”

“Thirty eight weeks.” She rubbed her tummy and felt an answering kick. “And she’s definitely getting ready to make her presence known.”

Marshall watched her, taking in her joy, the way she absolutely glowed. Something stung inside his heart, as thoughts of what could have been flittered through. “Kathryn, I…”

“Look, it’s Mama!”

Kathryn’s three year old son broke free from his father’s grasp and ran the short distance toward her, flinging himself into her waiting arms. Chakotay winced, and mouthed sorry to his wife as her private moment with the man he had almost lost her to was effectively disrupted.

She kissed her son all over his cheeks, making him giggle, before settling him – a challenge with her overgrown tummy – on her lap. “Nash, this is President Stark. He is in charge of the whole Federation.”

Nash stared at Marshall in wide-eyed awe. “The whole thing?”

“Everything.” Kathryn confirmed. “He is a very powerful man. But you can call him Uncle Marshall.”

“That is until you’re older, and are working for me, understood?” Marshall tickled the little boy, and was rewarded with squeals of laughter.

This could have been us. The unbidden thought came to him. He pulled back slowly from Kathryn and her son. It would do none of them any good to go back there now. Especially not with his wife – whom he loved – waiting for him to come home to her. Especially not with Chakotay standing mere feet away.

“I should go.” He leaned in, kissing Kathryn on her forehead, and ruffling the boy’s head before standing.

“Marshall.” She grabbed his arm before he could move away. “Take care of yourself, ok?”

He nodded. “You too Kate.”

He nodded at Chakotay as he walked past, then paused, turning back to face him, offering his hand. “You have a beautiful family, Captain. You are a very lucky man.”

“Thank you Mr. President.” Chakotay took Stark’s hand and shook it. “And thank you for making this possible.”

Marshall nodded and Chakotay watched him walk away under the watchful eyes of his security detail before turning toward his wife.

“Everything ok?” He joined her on the bench before relieving her of their son. 

She nodded. “I might have to pee again soon, but I think we can make it across the park.”

He gave her a mock glare. “I meant your little reunion with Stark.”

“I know what you meant.” She gave him her lopsided smile. “And you have nothing to worry about.”

Their son interrupted any further discussion. “Papa, I felt the baby kick just now – really hard. Is she coming soon?”

“Very soon Nash.” Chakotay quirked an amused brow. “You think it’s a girl?”

“Of course, it’s a girl.” The three year old said with a conviction that reminded Chakotay of his mother. “What else would she be? We already have a boy…me!”

Kathryn grinned. “Best not to argue with logic.”

She leaned and hugged her son close, all the while giving his handsome father a reassuring look. I love you. And only you.

He smiled and nodded in return. Message received.

“I have everything I need right here.” He said aloud. “Am I glowing now?” 

“Not yet…” Kathryn quipped jokingly. “…but I’ll tell you when.”

One week later, Nash’s prediction came true…his baby sister – Aiya – was born.

And as Chakotay held his daughter close, welcoming her to the world and into his tribe, Kathryn watched him glow.

~It Is Finished!~


End file.
